FAQ Family February 2004

February 2004

Q: How do we get connected to family peer support when the child-serving agencies will not allow us to meet each other. They tell us this lack of contact is a confidentiality issue. Is it? If it is, how do we change that? If it is not, how do we respond to these agencies?

A: Not meeting each other is not a confidentiality issue. It is a choice issue. Information about peer support should be made readily available through all child-serving systems. When it is not, the choice to access it is withheld from family members by default.

Systems call it a confidentiality issue because they have not managed the paradigm shift that allows them to change their world view of us as part of the solution instead of the as part of the problem.

Putting parents in contact with parents going through like experiences helps them begin to feel less isolated. Such contact also helps parents to access mentoring from families who have already experienced what new families are just beginning to experience: knowledge and information. These new families yearn to learn, and emotional support found with people like themselves reaffirms they are not the problem.

Once the families meet, they form unity and support each other. They form a community. To get to community, systems have to believe that families are capable of uniting and supporting each other. This deep belief in the importance of grassroots development for families leads to a real paradigm shift, one capable of replacing the need for an artificial use of concepts such as confidentiality.

Teach your professional partners what it is to be you. Not them feeling like you. Rather, what it is to be you-you the individual, you the mother or father, you the consumer. You are worthy of your own peer group. Don't take no for an answer. Confidentiality is a personal issue. If ever you doubt it, look to your peers and the stories you share. It is one of your choices. Information that you exist and seek others like you is not a breach of confidentiality, but withholding the information that you exist and seek others like you can be a barrier to access. Think about it.

Technical Assistance Partnership for Child and Family Mental Health

Family Involvement and Advocacy Frequently Asked Questions

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	February 2004 Q: How do we get connected to family peer support when the child-serving agencies will not allow us to meet each other. They tell us this lack of contact is a confidentiality issue. Is it? If it is, how do we change that? If it is not, how do we respond to these agencies? A: Not meeting each other is not a confidentiality issue. It is a choice issue. Information about peer support should be made readily available through all child-serving systems. When it is not, the choice to access it is withheld from family members by default. Systems call it a confidentiality issue because they have not managed the paradigm shift that allows them to change their world view of us as part of the solution instead of the as part of the problem. Putting parents in contact with parents going through like experiences helps them begin to feel less isolated. Such contact also helps parents to access mentoring from families who have already experienced what new families are just beginning to experience: knowledge and information. These new families yearn to learn, and emotional support found with people like themselves reaffirms they are not the problem. Once the families meet, they form unity and support each other. They form a community. To get to community, systems have to believe that families are capable of uniting and supporting each other. This deep belief in the importance of grassroots development for families leads to a real paradigm shift, one capable of replacing the need for an artificial use of concepts such as confidentiality. Teach your professional partners what it is to be you. Not them feeling like you. Rather, what it is to be you-you the individual, you the mother or father, you the consumer. You are worthy of your own peer group. Don't take no for an answer. Confidentiality is a personal issue. If ever you doubt it, look to your peers and the stories you share. It is one of your choices. Information that you exist and seek others like you is not a breach of confidentiality, but withholding the information that you exist and seek others like you can be a barrier to access. Think about it.